The Eye-Opening Jennifer Gargotto

Whenever I think I know something about women, my friend Jen writes something that makes me think otherwise. While it may not always be a direct contradiction, it is always something that I may not have considered. In her most recent post she cited an article from Esquire written by Christine Hendricks of Mad Men titled, “Letter to Men.” The Esquire article gives incredibly valid insight into what women think about and notice in men. Jen listed her favorite points made, and went on to expand on the subject.

Here are a few that got me thinking:

We Love Your Body [Hendricks]

To quote Elaine Benes from Seinfeld on the subject, “Ugh… all the hair, and the lumpiness? It’s simian.” The male form isn’t one that is intended to attract – it is one intended to get things done. Our strength is intended to be used for bending metal and building things out of wood, opening mayonnaise jars, and having sex. That’s all. But, I suppose love can go a long way. In fact, that’s her point. If a girl loves you, she loves you completely. That includes your hairy back and beard, and even the extra pounds. Because at the end of the day, it’s never about that.

We Know Right Away If We Have Feelings for You [Gargotto]

Jen cites that if a girl only calls you back “sometimes” or is often “too busy” it’s an indication that she’s not into you. Of course, we know this. But, “sometimes” gets translated in the male mind to, “Hm, I wonder if this means she wants to have sex.” At least, that’s what our penises tell us. And so goes futile pursuit. If you can apply this knowledge, however, you won’t have to waste another second on a girl that only “might” have sex with you.

We Love Everything That Makes You Boys [Gargotto]

Jen cites several “boyish” qualities here – from playing video games, to bad taste in furniture, to drinking beer, to a lack of swirling wine in a glass when drinking. Underneath the surface of these traits is something else: masculinity. Masculinity is an attractive force. Without it, nothing would ever get done. It drives the world – be it in men or women. However, I have great taste in furniture and love wine. I sometimes swirl it. The distinction is this: I will not apologize for it. Now, if you’re going to be a pussy about furniture, letting anyone else dictate the overall aesthetic of your living environment – when it ought to be a joint effort – and drink a glass of 1986 Claret without properly aerating… then, sir, you are a lesser man than I.

Elusive Verbiage Makes Us Want to Vomit [Gargotto]

Women like to talk. About everything. But, most of the time you can simply look in their direction, listening or not. Women want to know that you care enough to stop doing whatever you’re doing to provide them an audience for venting. But, when a woman talks about the future, you’d better listen. And you’d better have something to say. Yes, you’re supposed to “live in the moment,” but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a plan. Especially with a girl you care about and want to continue seeing. For example, if she asks something like, “Where do you see yourself in two years?” you’d better realize she’s looking for reassurance. She wants affirmation of your dedication to her and to the relationship. Point out that you don’t see *yourself* anywhere in two years, but that you see both of you somewhere, together, pursuing whatever it is you want to pursue. Note: Men hate elusive nonsense, as well. Direct questions ought to have direct answers.


  1. The thing about "we love your body" is cmpletely and utterly true. My husband still doesn't get it. I see his "flaws" as something fabulous. I love every bit of that man. I oftentimes wonder if men feel the same way about women...But I don't think so. Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the feeling that men are so extremely visual that they don't see "flaws" as a thing of beauty, ever. Like I said, maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am.

  2. Sometimes when I like something specific about a girl - her freckles, dimples or butt - the girl HATES that feature of herself. So, I think it goes both ways. We all have issues, it seems, with our bodies. We want people to love us, flaws and all, but when they do it doesn't change how insecure we may feel about ourselves.